This week we're complying with the wishes of Marty McFly and going back to 1985. This week's selections are all from the very middle of the 80s and 3 out of 4 were big hits that I'm already familiar with.
Sidenote - I usually write about 5 singles at a time but #816 turned out to be a 12" single - I'm On Fire/Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen - which is stored away in a box of 12" records that didn't interest me enough to keep within reach, so today there will only be 4. The Boss will get his day eventually as the Born In The USA album is on my shelf so I'll cover both songs at some point.
#817 - The Coward Brothers - The People's Limousine 🟢
I've never heard of The Coward Brothers so I had no idea what to expect from this single. The sleeve doesn't give away much either; it's striking but plain (and sticky... it has left-over sticker residue stuck to the front). Best-case scenario: some old-school dance/hip-hop. Worst case: novelty. My best guess, however, was that it was going to be country-leaning and I was right about that. It's got that snare beat that sounds like a train coming down the tracks, clean guitar and bass sounds, and a classic verse-chorus structure with back-up vocals joining each chorus. It's very American sounding but rather than the classic Southern twang to the vocals, they're more New Wave influenced which adds a modern twist. I don't listen to much country but this isn't bad.
b/w They'll Never Take Her Love From Me 🟢
We have a slower-paced ballad on the b-side which again follows a typical country sound and structure with its two-note bassline and harmonising vocals. I found myself swaying along to this and picturing it being performed on stage in a big barn with tables set up, occupied by people in checked shirts and cowboy hats. It's a sad song about the 'her' in the title choosing someone else, but it's still a pleasant sound to listen to.
#818 - Sister Sledge - Frankie 🟡
It's universally accepted that this song is bad so there's two possible reasons why my dad has it in his collection: either it was bought during his 'buy a copy of every number 1' phase (somehow this was top of the charts for 4 weeks) or someone bought it for him because he shares a name with the titular character. The single is in a very 80s pink and blue sleeve which gives it a tacky girly look. I think they're aiming for a throwback to the classic girl group sound and look but it has horribly cheesy 80s drum machines. They even echo the "down, down" backing vocal from Leader Of The Pack, but this is not The Shangri-Las. Nile Rodgers produced the record which ought to be a good sign but this is not his best work - it's really flat-sounding, the opposite of Spector's Wall Of Sound production. The chorus repeats the phrase "Frankie, do you remember me?" but I have already forgotten the tune.
b/w Hold Out Poppy 🟠
More 80s drum machines, accompanied by what I presume is Rodgers playing the bassline. This sounds like it wants to be gay club dance music but it's all rhythm and no top line so it feels unfinished. The group vocal gives this big Bananarama energy, which itself is not a compliment, but this is somehow worse because at least Stock Aitken Waterman would have made a convincing hi-NRG single out of this. It almost gets a pass but it really grinds my gears how the Americans pronounce "hold out Paah-pay" at the end of almost every line.
#819 - Dire Straits - Money For Nothing 🟡
This is one of those songs that you always hear on TV shows about the 80s because it references MTV and the consumerism of the era. The sleeve features a boxy, square CRT TV which was probably modern in 1985 and to be fair, it looks effective on the cover. On the back there's dates for a massive 2 month UK/Euro tour listed. I can't imagine a band touring the UK for a whole month now, can you? They included 2 dates in Deeside and 2 in Shepton Mallet (I don't even know where those places are), 7 nights in London and 3 in Edinburgh (Edinburgh! Not Glasgow! What a concept!). I just checked Setlist.fm to see the venue size and they weren't arenas, which is fair, but this was less than 6 months after 11 nights at Wembley, breaking in the middle for Live Aid. The dates on the back of the sleeve include 3 weeks without a day off which is also mad and I'm calling the 1985 union to have a word.
Anyway, Money For Nothing. I've always found Dire Straits pretentious with long songs, but this is their attempt to do mainstream rock. After a mélange of 80s drums, the way that the riff cuts through sounds so good - definitely well-produced. I get their point about Yuppiedom being distasteful but I think their use of the f-slur throughout the second verse is just as gross. The song is decently catchy but I don't think it's anything special and it's remembered because of its political commentary rather than for the music itself.
b/w Love Over Gold (Live) 🟡
One thing I know about Dire Straits from my parents owning some of their LPs is that the live album they put out only has 2-3 songs to a side which means their songs are far too long; The Ramones could get through 10 songs in that time. For that reason, I wasn't looking forward to this but they've kept it to a reasonable single length here. A live b-side is probably a smart move when they're promoting a tour too but it's very clear what kind of act they are even with a short song. Knopfler feels like a reluctant vocalist - he's half mumbling and I get the impression that he just wanted to play his guitar and produce but the band needed someone to step up and be the singer. It leads to a combination between musicianliness and Bob Dylan's tuneless delivery; Prog Dylan, if you will. Aside from a lot of whistling towards the end, there's no crowd noise on the live recording which makes the motivation for this recording obvious; they're selling competence, not entertainment. I pity the boring fuckers who wanted to see this for 11 nights at Wembley.
#820 - Billy Idol - White Wedding Part 1 & 2 (Shot Gun Mix) 🟢
As we all know, Billy Idol is sexy, so I'm immediately sold on the sleeve which features him dressed in leather and chains, midway between a pout and a sneer. I'm also a big fan of his logo which appears prominently on the front and back. White Wedding, like Money For Nothing, makes for relevant incidental music so it's reasonably common to hear this accompanying any wedding-themed TV moments. It's made up of hard rock drums and guitars with a subdued vocal, which he keeps reined in until the 2nd chorus. You can tell he's an old punk with rock-n-roll influences by the way he sings with a curled lip. Even after he lets rip on the "it's a nice day to... START AGAIN" chorus, there's still a feeling that we're building up to something which remains unresolved at the point where he's yelling his way through the closing fade-out. I was looking forward to this song but this mix is too restrained to make for an effective 7" pop single.
b/w Mega Idol Mix - Flesh For Fantasy/Hot In The City 🟡
The metal guitar with electronic drums which opens this sounds ahead of its time but then they add a staccato funk guitar part which is horrid. It's a megamix so I expected it to be full of excitement but instead the intro part repeated for far too long before Idol's voice comes in singing the chorus. "We want Flesh! For Fantasy!" is such an evocative lyric that it's criminal of them to wait so long to drop it in and then use it so little. The 'mix' that the title eludes to isn't much of a mix at all; rather than fade naturally it switches abruptly to an entirely different-sounding song which again sticks with an instrumental for so long that it loses any excitement it might have held. The trademark feature of a Billy Idol record is his trash-glam voice which is underused on both halves of this mix. My impression here is that he's trying to break new ground in the heavy rock/punk genre by finding a way to adapt it to the 12" club mix style that electronic music was doing so well, but unfortunately he's not got it right here.
I'm a bit disappointed not to have uncovered any gems this week - who knew that Billy Idol could be so boring?! - but at least this was an eclectic group of singles. On to the next one.
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